I have been thinking about death and amazingly it has become a source of inspiration to me. You know the thought of dying isnt exciting at all. The thought of you no longer being able to speak,not hearing what the people are saying- some could be saying good riddance..lol, just lying there still and then your body being lowered in a grave and being covered, the thought of people saying things that they couldn’t tell you when you were still alive-now that’s annoying. Separation from this earthly life, the end of your dreams, imaginations and fantasies- it all ends there. Death is painful, it robs us of those close to our hearts and the thought of not seeing them for a long time is heartbreaking. It happens though and it’s a reality. The truth is that it is no respector of persons. Death is an appointment for each one of us.(Heb 9:27) Oh my-this feels me with hibby jibbies-not nice ones i must say.
However i am not referring to this kind of death.Paul talks about crucifying the flesh with all its desires(Gal 5), Jesus talks about denying yourself, carrying your cross( sign of crucifixion) and following him(Matt 10:37-39,Luke 9:23-25). He actually says if you hold onto your life you will lose it in the and so encourages us to give up our lives for his sake and that’s the only way to gain it. He also talks about a grain of wheat falling to the ground and dying first for it to bring forth new life.(John 12:23-26) .Been thinking about all this and yes it has created in me a yearning for death so that i can truly live. You know the word of God says no flesh can glory in his presence(1cor 1:29). No one can see God and stay alive. The point is where God really is- there is death to the flesh and life to the spirit. When i make an evaluation of myself i know one thing i am so selfish and self centered, i want things my way. I want my dreams, my visions, my imaginations to all come alive and i will do anything it takes to fulfil them sometimes i end up messing up myself.
Today every one is working hard to stay alive, no one wants to die. We are all trying to make a living for ourselves and we dont even think about death and probably thats why we may not really care about how we live.
Recently i was thinking about love, i was praying through something and i remember hearing clearly within my spirit -Love edifies and thats what i needed to actually overcome. So i set my heart on finding out what edification means. The dictionary online defines “to edify” as to build up, establish, strengthen a person and uplift which was confirmed by a friend of mine. From that i knew that love calls me to a higher place of responsibility in my relationships. I can’t claim to love some one yet all i am doing is bringing them down, spewing negativity into their lives and not even giving a damn about how i treat them or handle them. If i love myself, i will not give them what i hate so i had to change my perspective and began dealing with a few things. Taking responsibility for what i contribute to other people’s lives, and yes there are days i have failed but i havent given up on my pursuit of Edification-strengthening, establishing and uplifting others that i love. This has actually brought me to that point of thinking about death- my selfish desires, my lusts for the sake of the other person. If i am consumed by being holy and being pleasing God, i should love others enough not to distract them from that one honor and privilege in their lives-the glory of God through them.If God loves me that much, he loves them too that much.
When you read the bible- Christ emphasized our need to love each other the way he has actually loved us(John 15:12-13 and 17). When you read the epistles of John and even Peter- they place great emphasis on Love and especially of our christian brothers and sisters. Peter talks about us loving each other deeply with affection(IJohn 3: 11-24,4:7-21, 1Peter1:22 and 1Pet 4:8). Paul even tells us about the more excellent way of life -LOVE (1cor 12: 31b) and goes on to describe it in the famous 1cor 13 that every one loves to hear being read at their weddings..lol.I read a scripture sometime back that i don’t want to forget-Matthew 18:2-7. You need to read that yourself.
Of late i have been thinking about my life and what i really long for- i have to say, i want to die.
There are things that we become accustomed to doing, they may seem okay but with being in relationship with a holy father they are abominable and he’s against them. God is Holy and in his presence darkness doesn’t stand. I have things he has pointed out and we are working at it together and i am convinced beyond doubt that victory is mine. Many a time they are deeply rooted in our desires- the word of God tells us that he takes us from glory to glory, Yes where God is there is surely liberty and He does set captives free and like I can testify to that.Paul says our freedom should not be used as an occasion to the flesh. I can testify to that. I am reminded of the sermon i heard last thursday, it’s all about faith in a big God..and it’s all about him working in us and through us. Is he actually at work in you.You alone can tell that. Yes i want to die so that i can be able to live the full life through Christ and Christ to live in me and through me. I envision the fullness of Christ in my life and that makes the kind of death i am talking about a worthwhile experience. It makes it glorious indeed, yes its painful because you gotta lose something, you gotta lay down stuff and surrender passions and desires, dreams and visions, fantansies, imaginations that are so close to the heart but the reward is the fulness of Christ. Yes the Christ we profess is greater than us in every way and he is able to do so much more than we could ever ask or imagine. All he asks of you and i is believe. Abandon yourself to him, He does fulfil the desires of our hearts :-)
Now after all this writing i must confess, i can boldly say like Paul” i dont mean to say that i have already achieved these things or that i have already reached perfection. But i PRESS ON to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me…….(Phil 3:12-14)
However i can boldly say in so many instances Ebenezer- thus far the Lord has brought me and i am grateful and Paul says we must hold on to the progress we have made(Phil 3:16).
It’s a privilege and honor indeed to know that God is at work in me and even after this i want to run to the father and obtain his mercy and grace for the time of need. Our world isn’t getting better but our God remains greater, faithful and true. The Psalmist says to the faithful you show yourself faithful, to those with intergrity you show intergrity to the pure you show yourself pure. If you read on David is simply saying it’s all about God.(psa18:25ff) Beautiful portion of scripture. It’s not even about how strong one is, not at all-It’s about how strong God is because His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. This alone makes on run to the father because they know that is where hope and deliverance are. Out of God’s presence, there is trouble and the most wonderful bit is this GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Knowledge puffs up and sometimes we are tempted to go to the father with all our know it all attitude and how we are doing this and that and actually fail to be honest about what is really going on deep inside us. ( the story of the pharisee and the tax collector). He desires truth in our innermost being-(Psalm 51) and sometimes it’s just like David for many of us-Have mercy on me Oh God according to your unfailing love.Only when we allow God to show us the true condition of our hearts and lives. Believe you me we would truly know what mercy means when it triumphs over judgement :-)
Ok time up..i could go on and on but all in all it’s all about God. I can’t help but abandon myself to this God because i know He can do it in me. He’s the same yesterday today and forever. He doesn’t change and wont change to fit our lives, we have to fit our lives into him.
Then it shall be said of us, of me,…this is the Lord’s doing and it’s marvelous in our eyes. I want this more than life itself…Esther the queen said -if i perish i perish..she actually didn’t, she saved herself, her entirely family and entire nation. It’s time to die for me-yippee.